100 Days.

The Gonzo Journals

April 10th, 2023

First of all, this isn’t some pooney Minecraft video where trust fund babies still sucking on Mom’s surgically enhanced boob can fake having a job by swindling kids into subscribing to their channels. The theory of YouTube was cool. The end product is disgusting and part of everything that’s wrong with the modern world. Well, some of it anyway. Annoying, repetitive, and does more virtual panhandling as the burnt chick outside my neighborhood 7/11 who yells at the birds.

It’s been 100 days since New Years, and I’ve kept to every resolution I made that night. Two years ago, I’d said I would stop smoking, and I did. Last year, I said I would stop drinking alcohol, and I did. This year? I’ve managed to have only five or six sodas in these one hundred days, and I plan to stop completely. It’s honestly harder than the smoking and drinking thing combined. They’re unhealthy as hell, yet our Texas upbringing makes us stewards of the Dr. Pepper company for some reason like it’s a bragging right to be addicted to such nonsense.

Another thing I said I would do this year is to begin separating myself from social media. Yet another horrible addiction in the modern world, it’s nothing but annoying nonsense, publicly aired family drama, and political lies. Also, I was tired of having people – complete strangers or “friends” I haven’t seen or heard from in years – video call me to ask me for money while I was on the toilet. I’ve removed all the apps from my phone and only check them once a day when I’m logged on in the writing studio. Anyone who would need to contact me for anything important has my number. This also means I don’t care about your martyrdom for recognizing yourself in something I wrote. You’re anonymous for a reason. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along.

Finally, I have managed to write daily for these one hundred days. I’ve finished two short stories for two upcoming anthologies, completed the story for an upcoming videogame, and blogged my little, sinister heart out. Normally, I scroll through Facebook for a few minutes, find something that triggers me, and put it on blast. Now, the difference between doing this on my website instead of on social media is that YOU must do a lot of clicking to go there and be offended. Nothing I post on my personal site is up for discussion. I write want I want there and it can’t be blocked, countered, or reported. If you are not a fan of your truth, then change your truth.

These one hundred days have seen the end to lifelong friendships, forcing me now to surround myself with the nameless faces of total strangers. I like it that way. I have one old friend left and he’s talented enough to live his awesome life without climbing inside my ass or vice versa. My friends now are my wife, my book characters, my trains, and my pet snake. To you, this may seem like a lonely existence. It’s not. In my experiences since 2016, most people who hung around me either wanted to steal my sunshine, my sanity, or my semen. My ONLY Dallas buddy doesn’t want either of those but he, like myself, is an extremely busy professional. Sometimes we cross paths and collaborate, most times we don’t.

I have managed to make a long-distance friend as well in the form of another author from Tennessee. Believe it or not, he’s a preacher as well. I take a step back from time to time to interpret the mind-boggling enigma I’ve become in my sobriety, and I’m just as confused as anyone else. On the bright side of things yet again, at least I have my wife to fall back on. She’s the most caring, intelligent woman I’ve ever met and that’s saying a lot if you know my record of accomplishment. She also is the first woman, whether it be wife or girlfriend, who has yet to cheat on me in the four years we’ve been together. I don’t know what that trophy looks like, but my imagination tells me it’s probably a butt plug. We’ll run with that.

All in all, I’m proud of who I’ve become in the last one hundred days. It’s the person I always thought about being but never had the dedication to make it happen. By choosing to pursue the things I love rather than distract myself with modern society’s numerous, nonsensical burdens, I am finally beginning to love who I am as a person, a professional, and a husband. The trick was trimming the fat. Not on my own body, mind you, I’m still chubby as a cherub, but removing the worst of what life has to offer. Those tiny computers in our pockets are the crack cocaine of the modern world. If you don’t believe me, try taking one away from a teenager.


PS – I still have free Audible download codes for Starving Zoe. HMU if you’d like to listen to the most f**ked up love story ever written.


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