Peace Sells Soda.

The Gonzo Journals

February 21st, 2023

Up with the sun! Laundry is spinning, dishes are being cleaned, the kid is at school, and the snake just ate. Now, it’s time for some coffee and a little bit of writing. Thank you for tagging along! (It’s not too late to stop reading).

Yesterday being President’s Day meant I spent every second of it on a vintage steam locomotive taking people from one side of Six Flags to the other. That is definitely my happy place where I don’t think about worldly problems. No, I just fade away into an obvious former life of mine as someone who used to tame the iron horses of the American west. I wonder what my name was. (Probably something lame like Melvin).

I have a birthmark on my right leg that’s baffled me for almost fifty years. When I was young, my mother told me it’s a mark explaining how I died in a previous life. A large chunk of my family was Native American, so they believed I was shot with an arrow. Really? In the leg? I know old west medicine was poorly practiced but getting shot in the leg with an arrow seems like a wimpy way to die! Maybe it was coated with something. Maybe it was a snake bite, which explains my obsession with snakes. Who knows? Is this even something modern society believes anymore? (I’m sure it was something my smart mouth said in a saloon).

It seems like the people of today are more concerned with what’s going on in our daily lives rather than the coming future or our past. I know I’m kicking what’s become my personal dead horse, but social media has given us instantaneous access to EVERYONE’S daily life and society can’t seem to get enough of it! I personally believe it’s a meticulously concocted distraction. (We read about Joe’s divorce and are immediately bombarded with Facebook ads selling soda and strap-ons).

Like I said, no one thinks about the coming future because they’re so tied up with the present. Not just their own present, but the present lives of everyone else around them. Friends, enemies, family, and frienemies – that’s friends you know are enemies, but you keep them around for entertainment purposes – alike are all up in everyone else’s business day and night. We’re all just an app away from nosey at any given second. What type of doom does this spell for our future selves? (Are you sure you don’t want to stop reading now?)

The future is coming whether we like it or not. As of now, it appears the United States will be tied up in World War III aka the final one very soon. We point fingers at Russia being crazy enough to actually use a nuclear weapon, but we forget that WE are the only country who’s ever used one on our enemy before. Believe it or not, WE are the world’s villain when it comes to the history books. No, not our own history books. Those are sugar coated to make us seem like Marvel heroes. I’m talking about history books written from an outsider’s perspective. Maybe Canada or Sweeden. Yes, in their history books, I’m sure the United States is painted to be the evil galactic empire in a Star Wars film. Unfortunately, we aren’t allowed cool bad guys like Darth Vader. No, we have scrawny, ignorant, capitalist weenies who couldn’t physically fight their way out of a wet paper sack if the situation called for it. Man, what a bummer. Can you imagine MTG being force choked in the middle of the state of the union address? I can! (She’d like it).

The most important thing for our society is that we need to look to our past for answers. We keep trying to cover up our past. I think the dumbest among us believe we can erase our troubled history as a country if we remove statues or edit books. Yes, that may work several generations down the road, but there lies the problem. I truly don’t believe they’ll be future generations on this smoldering, festering planet of idiots who want to fuck, fight, eat, or kill every single soul we come in contact with. (Trees have souls).

The young are taught by the old, and the old were taught to hate everyone who doesn’t look or speak like they do. My theory is that racism and war will never end, dividing us until we all die horrible deaths at the hands of rich tyrants. Humans have discovered ways to live longer. This ensures the elderly among us can pass on fewer desirable traits and thoughts to our younger generations when mommy and daddy want that freaky night out on the town. Then the elderly pass on, inciting the young’s desire to carry on their legacy out of honor. Next thing you know, society has created a new generation of racists with Paw Paw issues. This is the endless circle that will never be broken. Of course, this is my warped opinion, but at least I’m thinking past the end of my nose. (Of course, I’m basing my opinions as someone who was forced to grow up in the southern United States. Yee Haw!)

Am I saying we should keep our children away from the elderly? Not at all. We just need to monitor their interactions more and not assume everything is peachy because their young lives are in the hands of capable old farts. As parents, we need to instill stronger values in our youth rather than allow them to be tag-a-longs to all things modern. Instill a sense of integrity in our kids. Take them with you instead of dropping them off at Grannie’s house. Better yet, plan events to include them rather than ignore them. You decided to squirt them into existence, didn’t you? Hug them tight and build good memories for them to think about while we all burn to a crisp from nuclear radiation. It’s totally coming, folks. Soon. (I tried to warn you).

In the end, I’m a grandfather. I don’t spend much time with my grandchildren because they live an hour away from me. This is probably a good thing. I already know how fucked up in the head I am and minimal exposure to the spawn of my spawn should ensure better values in the futures they’ll never receive. Goddamn wealthy, capitalist war pigs. Can’t we just put little flashy jewels in our hands like Logan’s Run? Damn. If that were the case, I would’ve died nineteen years ago! At least I wouldn’t have been subjected to those shitty Star Wars sequels! (Kylo Ren is Trump Jr.)

Peace (is a lie) sells soda.