Dear Publishers, Marketers, Cover Artists, Editors, etc…

by C. Derick Miller

Hello, and happy Thursday! I pondered for hours on what I should write today. I was at a loss, but then someone brought a proper subject to the forefront. This one goes out to, not all, but certain publishers, marketers, illustrators, cover artists, editors, and general people on social media who prey on writers. I have a feeling I’m speaking on behalf of many of my colleagues but, if I’m wrong, then this is one hundred percent coming straight from me. Here we go…

We know who you are.

We know what you do.

We’ll reach out when you are needed.

I’m being totally serious. Some of us have been writing for over a decade and know exactly what we need and when we need it. It’s not that we don’t appreciate you saying hello, especially if you’re new on the scene, but your “tone” is a major turn off.

Do you know how many times a week I get random private messages from publishers, cover artists, marketers, and editors? At least three times per week. I’m not exaggerating in the slightest! “Professionals” reach out wanting me to hire them for their services, and then get all pissed off and delete me when I tell them I’ll consider their talents at a later date. Why do they get pissed? Do they think we author a book per day?

This is where the language kicks in so some of you may want to jump ship now. It’s four days from Sunday and we wouldn’t want you to get in a tizzy with your lord and savior.

Look, mother fuckers, in order to need a publisher, marketing, a cover designer, and an editor, we must complete a project! Sometimes we go six months at a time without finishing something. Do you know how many goddamn cover designers contact me in six months? A fucking lot!!!

Contrary to popular belief, whatever generation comes after millennials, this is NOT how you run a fucking business! You can’t reach out to someone ONCE and then get all pissed off when they didn’t hire you that ONE time! What if we need you tomorrow but you’ve already said some pissy shit to us and deleted us? How are we supposed to get in touch with you then? Better question. Why in the fuck would we ever contact you in the first place if that’s how you handle your own affairs?

Note: We all talk. All of us. Every single fucking one of us talk to each other and let each other know which businesses are competent and which ones are whiney shit bags. Guess which list you’re going on? Word of mouth travels quickly on social media and you’re always one temper tantrum away from losing everyone’s potential business!

Now, I hope you will take this into consideration next time you blindly reach out to a writer who doesn’t know dick about you, only for you to insult him or her with your lack of patience. I know social media has taught you to be overly critical and polarizing, but this is not how it’s done.

We, as writers, want to walk the easiest path imaginable when it comes to the next step in the process. That next step of editing, publishing, and marketing is by far the worst part of being an author! Want to know what makes it even worse? The entitled attitude of a 19-year-old with a new Mac Book and a paid subscription to Photoshop who suddenly thinks they’re Todd fucking McFarlane! Look, I’m sorry my parent’s generation fucked up the planet and you won’t get to live a full life, but you can’t blame me for that!

Google is free and in our pockets. Trust me, we will reach out to YOU when we’re ready. Not YOU specifically, because you acted like an ass hat, but someone else who does what you attempt to do.

Holy shit! That felt amazing!

Peace…