Donald Trump. Modern Poet?

The Gonzo Journals

January 29th, 2023

So, according to dozens of examples I’ve seen throughout the last year, you can earn the moniker of ‘modern poet’ by hitting the enter key after every third word in your sentence. Congratulations, oh lazy artists of today, for figuring out the trick! Here I’ve been – along with hundreds of others – attempting to rhyme shit for the enjoyment of poetry and music fans alike, and all I really had to do was hit the enter key after every third word? Screw AI, this is easy! Suddenly, my weekly grocery list is a poem! My child’s note excusing him from PE is a poem! My letter of resignation from my last job is a poem! We’re all freaking poets and didn’t even know it! Wait a second. That last sentence had rhyming value. It doesn’t count.

Now, with this being the groundwork for the modern poet, anything is fair game. As an example, here’s the most talented modern poet on the face of the Earth. A better poet than Washington. A better poet than Lincoln. This artist is none other than our 45th President of the United States, Mr. Donald J. Trump, Self-Proclaimed Idiot.


So We’re Going

So we’re going

to, we’re going

to walk down

Pennsylvania Avenue, I

love Pennsylvania Avenue,

and we’re going

to the Capitol

and we’re going

to try and

give — the Democrats

are hopeless. They’re

never voting for

anything, not even

one vote. But

we’re going to

try and give

our Republicans, the

weak ones, because

the strong ones

don’t need any

of our help,

we’re going to

try and give

them the kind

of pride and

boldness that they

need to take

back our country.

So let’s walk

down Pennsylvania Avenue.

I want to

thank you all.

God bless you

and God bless

America. Thank you

all for being

here. This is

incredible. Thank you

very much. Thank


See what I did there? All for the sake of humor. If you didn’t find this funny, then you’re probably a Trump fan, a modern poet, or both! Just laugh. Life’s too short to shit yourself every time someone finds humor in plain sight. If you don’t like your truth, change your truth. It’s not like I plan on stopping anytime soon…



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