Shoot Back?

The Gonzo Journals

January 27th, 2023

This may not be the most popular subject in our country right now, but it should be. After multiple mass shootings in California over the last week. It won’t be long before Texas follows. We pride ourselves on copycatting California often. It’s been that way for quite a while. Just ask Austin.

I’m a card-carrying liberal Democrat, but that card just happens to be my License to Carry. In fact, MOST liberals I know personally have their LTC and have a gun concealed on their person whenever they’re out in public. Many of the most vocal conservatives don’t believe this is a truth but…wouldn’t it suck to be wrong? I long for the day when a psychotic wacko goes into a gay night club to shoot the place up only to be surrounded by a dozen or so itchy trigger fingers. That’s the video I’d want to see on the news. Sweaty, shirtless men holding an idiot at bay with pink, fuzzy pistols. I mean, if the far-right extremists want to pretend it’s the old west, shouldn’t the left be prepared?

Texas is now a Constitutional Carry state meaning you don’t need a license to conceal a firearm on your person in locations which allow it. I still recommend the LTC so you can learn which locations it is illegal to possess a gun. Jail sucks, especially for people who resemble the Tik Tok/YouTube crowd. Some of those guys in the holding cells would give you something to film. You’d go viral for sure; it would just be the kind that needs an injection of antibiotics. It also lessens your waiting period, if any, when you purchase a new gun.

I’ve recently begun wearing overalls because they’re functional. I learned this from working on a theme park railroad. There are literally pockets everywhere. Also, I got them a size too big so I can wear my old west six shooter on a belt inside of them comfortably. If I must face off with a mass shooter in a public setting, I at least want it to be with some style and class. No mini .22 Cal or the typical tiny Glock. No, I want to pull out the Doc Holliday special so I can twirl it around my finger after I deescalate the situation. .357 so it sounds like the apocalypse in an indoor setting. Five bullets should be more than enough to do what needs to be done. Any more than that and I deserve to die. (Yes, unlike what you see from Hollywood, single action six shot revolvers only carried five bullets. You must place the hammer in an empty chamber to prevent shooting yourself in the dick).

Now before you fill my comment section and social media with claims that I’m some gun nut idiot, just know that I have been training with guns and other weapons for half my life. I’ve spent time in both the military and law enforcement. The problem with most LTC folks is that they’ve never been placed in a tense situation regarding firearms other than the weak ass range instructor giving them a dirty look. This is how innocents get caught in the crossfire or how the open carry “look at me” attention whores get their weapon taken away. You MUST train, ladies and gentlemen, and train well. It’s not going to do you much good to have a gun stabbing you uncomfortably in the crotch at the grocery store if you don’t possess the gumption to pull it out and use it in a desperate time of need. The gun, not whatever’s in your crotch. Pervs.

Is this the right answer for everyone? Absolutely not. I’m not suggesting that every person reading this should run right out and get a gun, a license to carry, and begin walking around the grocery store like king dick. Just know that there are several people around you who are and don’t get all freaked out because it looks like they’re smuggling an ear of corn down the front leg of their pants. I mean, sure, they could be ‘gifted’ like that but what are the odds? Some are show-ers and some are growers.

Be safe out there.


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