M3GAN – 2nd Viewing

The Gonzo Journals

January 26th, 2023

Now that it’s been a couple of weeks and the dust has settled…

Who am I kidding? There are people all over Tik Tok doing the Megan Dance and Saturday Night Live did one of the worst parodies I’ve ever watched. I personally believed they missed the mark completely. It was aimed heavily at the gay community, and I found it offensive. I’m straight! Here is a video of the ‘parody’:

As with most films nowadays, Megan is already available on digital two weeks after its theatrical debut. No, it’s not because the movie sucked and didn’t make any money. It made fucking tons of money, setting records for both horror films and movies released during the month of January. It seems there is no stopping our new favorite slasher doll…but is that what she really is?

Now that I have this movie at home, let’s dive a little deeper into what this film delivers.

First things first, the home version is the PG-13 theatrical release. There are rumors of a rated R director’s cut eventually so I guess these guys will get my money three times. I don’t mind, really. It’s worth it. I have no issue with paying for quality entertainment.

Second, this movie isn’t a “horror” film. It’s a sci-fi dark comedy/drama with horror elements. A small portion of the horror community is shitting on this film because it’s not gory and over the top. I’m not sure how many more times I have to say this, but if you have a relevant story and solid characters – this film has both – you don’t need to distract the audience with gore, gore, gore. (Unless you’re Terrifier 2. They get a pass. That film is a fucking masterpiece IMO)

Megan is a warning to half assed parents who would rather shove a piece of technology into their child’s face instead of paying attention and be a real parent. That’s the target demographic, folks. Every modern-day mother who can’t take their attention away from social media or dating apps long enough to show their own flesh and blood some true love. Was I a perfect parent? Hell no! Far from it. Maybe worse, in some cases. Still, I knew how to interact with my kids and never traded that experience for something that plugs into the wall.

Today’s children are raised by technology because today’s parents were raised by television. In turn, those people who plopped today’s parents down in front of the electronic babysitter were raised on the radio. So, does the blame go back several generations? No. The blame goes to the dawn of society in general. What’s the alternative? Let your mind be bombarded with newspaper articles of classism, fiscal crisis, and war? Since the dawn of the printing press, people have been looking for a distraction from being reminded of life’s daily horrors. Let’s take it a step back even further.

What’s the one thing that’s been shoved into the faces of the young for centuries requiring a distraction to prevent pre-pubescent self-destruction?

The fucking bible. I won’t even bother capitalizing the “B” because fuck you. It’s a mind control device, plain and simple. A statistically successful one at that. Today’s grandparents were forced to attend church every time the goddamn doors were open. Some of them passed the importance of such nonsense onto their children and the weakest minded among them adopted the practice without question. Eventually, a deity’s bullshit rolls downhill and there you have it.

I have managed to link modern day technological dependence to early 1900’s, missionary sex only, what’s a clitoris, bible thumping.

This film is a warning, but I wouldn’t expect mainstream society to see it as such. We have a generation of children being raised by “Megans” already as I write this. They just aren’t as cute and humanoid. Lucky for them, though. A lot of today’s religious fanatics and politicians would be purchasing them for all the wrong reasons. #1 FAQ on Amazon? “Are these dolls waterproof? – Donald T., Mar-A-Lago, FL”. I wonder how many androids are hidden in Eppstein photos…

Solution? Dis-invent smart phones and make video game arcades relevant again. I doubt it will solve any problems involving technology, but it encourages face to face interaction with other human beings while engaging with similar distractions. It’s a meet in the middle solution. Plus, I miss them. There’s nothing like banging away on a Donkey Kong machine while your ears bleed to Motley Crue. You’re welcome, society.

Peace…

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