Off On The Good Foot?

The Gonzo Journals January 1st, 2023

Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, what a way to start the new year! I awoke in a swanky Texas hotel with a hangover I didn’t earn. I haven’t drank a drop of alcohol in over a year!

Instead, I think this banging headache was brought on by being subjected to a foreign water supply. Yes, that’s a thing. I experienced it often during my years of travel. Your body gets accustomed to your local contaminants and acts all wacky when you stray. Some people might not even notice the changes but I’m personally fragile when it comes to these types of changes.

I think the worst part of all of this was when I overshot the lobby and ended up on the hotel’s conference floor. Every one of these rooms was occupied by churches and church people, ocularly judging me for strolling through their impromptu place of worship in a pair of shower slides and a tacky t shirt. Fucking Texas. They even have church services in movie theaters here.

I’m certain if there is a magical man in the sky somehow watching every single one of us, he’d be a little pissed off at how his groveling followers request the most asinine things of his phenomenal powers. They ask for rain and then ask for protection from the tornadoes that accompany it. Am I blind to the necessity of believing in such an entity or am I evolved enough to pull back the curtain? I guess the jury is still out on that one.

We’ll more than likely find out too late just like everyone else who’s come and gone before us. Welcome to The Gonzo Journals 2023! Let’s take this journey together, shall we? No rules, no limits, just write.

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Peace, for now.


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