- I was on national television for five seconds a few weeks ago. Many have reached out since then wondering why we’re not social media friends anymore. Umm…you deleted me two years ago because I didn’t believe in your stolen election/anti-vax bullshit? So yeah, there’s that.
- Everyone: Check on your terrorist friends. The Jan. 6 Committee has finally put it all together in a way that your average 4th grader can understand. I can imagine most of them are dry heaving while resisting to formulate their two-year overdue social media apology posts.
- The force of his fear-puckered posterior sent the chair reeling to the far wall of the saloon with the screech of wood upon wood. Firing bolts of hatred toward the still seated Jim Walker, Patrick jerked his firearm from its all too comfortable holster. He filled the sixth and final chamber of his weapon’s cylinder with visible annoyance. Hopefully, the situation wouldn’t require the use of any more projectiles than the initial shot, but rarely did such a confrontation proceed as imagined. The other five rounds were insurance in case the rumors surrounding the legendary Zoe Telos were indeed true to form. Surely, they were nothing more than poppycock created by drunken miners, but Patrick was willing to invoke necessary precautions in the wake of recent moments. That questioned event happened to be the unnatural folding and tossing of the bludgeoned human body crumpled in ruin before his hesitant feet. Looking back over his shoulder one final time at anyone who could prevent his march into danger, Sheriff Patrick O’Kelly moved in the direction of the night’s fateful meeting. – Tracking Zoe
- My advice to the American people: turn off the news, get really baked, and watch the Ran Out On A Rail channel on YouTube. You’re welcome.
- Gonna start putting a chapter in my books that explains why reader reviews are important with a step-by-step instruction manual on how and where to do so. The reader will probably skip it, but I’m going to do it anyway.
- All these people in the world claim they’re going to stand up to the dark lord when the time comes, but they’re scared of a fucking rainbow. I’m beginning to think some of them subscribe to the Uvalde PD version of their chosen religion…
- Another chapter of Tracking Zoe is in the books. You’d swear I’ve done this before…
- Peeps: if you’re gonna share fake photos of gas pumps, at least make certain the math is right. Sure, you’re faking out the idiots, but since when has an idiot regulated the price of gasoline? Answer: never. Good day to you…
- I love getting daily, random emails from ASCAP to remind me how I never made a penny from the 4 songs I have registered through them. Writer life…
- I should start signing my books with “Thanks, Cunt”! Whether or not it’s a funny or accurate gesture depends on the reader’s Goodreads review! Marketing.
10 More Things I Wanted To Say On Facebook (but didn’t)
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C. Derick Miller's Gonzo Journals 
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