1.Remember being a teenager and random stupid shit flew out of your mouth whenever you were around a girl you liked? Things like “I don’t like sand”? Yeah. Give Lucas a break.
2. “Our escapades may feel like a lifetime ago, but they’re written about in books. We’re old, Joanna, and it’s about damn time we start acting that way. The devil is knocking…” – Colonel Jim Walker, Tracking Zoe
3. A sudden, blood curdling scream came from one of the saloon’s upstairs rooms, bringing every being straight to attention with their firearms ready. All eyes at attention then bore witness to the tattered, crimson clothing of one of the saloon ladies being thrown from the room above, impacting against the bottom floorboards with a moist slap. It was joined within the time frame of a few seconds by the slaughtered, nude body of a working girl who was now too disfigured to identify. Her neck snapped upon impact as what remained of her corpse twisted in a tangled mess of bones and flesh.
4. So, if Johnny Depp lost, were we just going to pretend that his movies stopped existing? Do you know how many films we watch in the period of a year made by asshole actors, directors, and producers who haven’t gotten caught for similar shit yet? Humans are weird.
5. I promoted indie authors and their works for nine straight days on Facebook (originally, I said I would do ten days but then I thought about this discouraging, depressing fact). Out of those nine indie authors, only ONE of them thanked me for doing so and ZERO fellow authors or readers shared the posts. I’m just going to leave this right here and everyone can come to their own conclusions. Is print dead or is it us?
6. To all the guys out there who remind us daily how incredibly lonely and miserable they are, Amber Heard is depressed and on the rebound. Now is your chance. I mean, you’ve probably shit your own bed before so how bad could it be?
7. Vader. That is all.
8. Why be a professional writer? Imagine standing in your living room at 9am on a Thursday with no pants playing retro arcade machines blaring 80’s hair metal. Live that fucking dream, baby!
9. When national television celebrities reach out to suggest your next case, your podcast may be awesome. @AJusticePodcast
10. My son gets out of the army next year but doesn’t want to come back to mainland America. He doesn’t want his future child gunned down in kindergarten. The American Nightmare is real. The “Dream” is backordered and stuck on a cargo ship in Long Beach.
C. Derick Miller's Gonzo Journals 
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