Smoothie Sailing

9.30.21

Smoothie Sailing

C. Derick Miller – Head Writer

Your Stories on Video

As you may recall from my previous blogs, I am on a semi-extreme health kick! I’m currently in the best physical shape I’ve been in since my military days twenty years ago. I mostly owe that to cycling every/every other day and a little better diet. Notice that I said “little”.

In all honesty, I really haven’t changed my diet all that much. For the last couple of years, I’ve stayed true to the same foods since my wife has a Celiac diagnosis. I mostly eat gluten free because of her. Also, I never go back for seconds and usually restrict my meals to a small bowl. She’s a little bitty thing clocking in at around 120lbs whereas I’m a whopping 250lbs. Yes, I’m 250lbs and in pretty good physical shape. Other than my protruding gut, I’m a huge wad of muscle! In case you were wondering, our wedding photo looks like we’re doing a Sesame Street pose for the number 10…or 01. It depends on which way you look at it.

One of the things I’ve really enjoyed about my health kick is the small treats I get to give me a bit of a boost or for meal replacement. My current addiction is smoothies! My favorite? Easily, it’s strawberry, bananas, dates, and peanut butter! Blend those up in a cup with some ice and I’m in absolute heaven! I normally partake in the morning time so that I can use it as a sort of breakfast meal replacement. On the weekends, I stop by a particular smoothie store at my midway riding point and indulge for some added power/refreshment. Well…that was until yesterday.

I won’t say the name of the smoothie chain because I wouldn’t want them to track me down and slap me with a lawsuit for slander. Actually, I’m not sure that they could do that since the internet was obviously invented for people to talk trash about things. Don’t believe me? Check out your Facebook for a few seconds and let me know how much positive reinforcement you see. Don’t worry, I’ll wait…

Are you back?

See?

Anyway, if push came to shove, I at least wouldn’t want them to take my pawn (hint hint nudge nudge wink wink say no more).

My wife, being the super genius that she is, tracked down the ingredients of my favorite smoothie from that place and makes it for me in our kitchen every morning. Now, you may be asking yourself, why would she do that when there’s a smoothie place on every corner in Dallas? Too easy. This particular smoothie store adds TONS of unnecessary sugar into their smoothies! How much? More than a soda! I was floored when she told me this and just a little bit sad. Okay, I was really, really sad!

Why in the world would this company do that to its customers knowing most of their client base only comes there for what they believe is a health benefit in the first place? Do you mean to tell me that the seven-dollar cup of the god’s nectar is actually about half of a banana, a couple of strawberries, and soda’s worth of sugar? I have been betrayed a time or two in my life, but I couldn’t help but feel duped like never before! So, even though I don’t like the idea of my wife going downstairs every morning to make me my refreshing breakfast beverage, it’s a lot healthier than the alternative! Plus, it’s nice to be taken care of for a change from time to time. She does it out of love, and it tastes like it.

I’ve also had the same thought over the years with French fries. I know it’s denying my half Irish heritage to avoid them, but I’m not really a fan. They’re super greasy and you must eat them quickly otherwise they taste like lukewarm garbage. Have you ever tried to reheat French fries? Nope!

I stopped eating them for a number of years and noticed that, at ALL hamburger chain restaurants, the price of your hamburger and soda without the fries is almost the same exact price as your combo mean with the fries. So, the question is, why are all the chain restaurants just giving away French fries? That, my friends, is the million-dollar question.

Now, if you go back to your social media profiles once again and ask this question, I can guarantee you that a large chunk of the people who interact will claim it’s because the government wants to make us all fat so we can’t fight back when they come to take our guns. I wish I was making this up, but that’s the answer I got to the question ten years ago. That’s long before our current political climate settled in so I’m not taking any side. I’m just simply restating a fact. Someone claimed this is why French fries are free.

All conspiracy theories aside…it sounds like the most plausible of them all!

Anyway, back to the smoothie stand I refuse to name (which, if you think about it, could very well be the Dairy Queen’s husband) and why they’re deceiving all of us. I honestly do not know. I’m not quite sure what the goal is of so many American chain restaurants when it comes to deceiving us regarding nutrition. In the end, it’s so much better to take the time at home and cook your own food, make your own smoothies, and leave the French fries on the store shelf.

Wouldn’t a nice apple be so much better? I’m thinking “yes”.

What are some of your favorite foods or drinks that you loved as a child, or even as an adult, but can’t or won’t have now? Here at Your Stories on Video, we want to know! Was it because of health issues or was it pure, one hundred percent will power? Did you outgrow them or was it one of those situations where you had one drink too many one night in Tijuana, found a street cart with your (then) favorite food on it, and gave it back to the planet down a back alley, swearing to never let it touch your mouth again? Also, as a bonus question, does it almost make you sick just to smell it?

Did I take it too far? Come on, you all know you have that one thing I’m talking about in your life. Don’t be shy…

See and hear more at http://www.yourstoriesonvideo.com

Published by GonzoWolf

C. Derick Miller is an award winning (Splatterpunk/Indie/Cult/Horror/Dark Fiction) author, Gonzo journalist, producer, screenwriter, poet, ordained minister, and songwriter born in the town of Greenville, Texas. A seasoned paranormal investigator and administrator for the fine art industry, his influences include Hunter S. Thompson, Kevin Smith, Shawn Mullins, and Del James. He is the Head Writer for Your Stories On Video and is Sr. Writer/Jr. Producer for AtuA Productions. Chad is also an active member of the International Thriller Writers organization, the Horror Writer’s Association, and co-host of the “American Justice” podcast. He resides in the Bishop Arts District of Dallas, Texas and has a price on his head for his short story “Hell Paso” contained in the #1 Amazon Best Selling/Award Winning Death’s Head Press Anthology “And Hell Followed”. He wishes he was making up that last part but…it’s nice to be wanted.

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