I’d Rather Go To Prison

(written as a country song a long time ago for a band called Whiskey Hat, never recorded)

Girls from snowy Minnesota

Or frozen North Dakota

They all seem toasty warm compared to you

A New York artist snootie

Or a Cali plastic booty

A sun dried Arizona girl or two

A Colorodo stoner

A Washington state loner

Might show me how to take you off my brain

But one more Tulsa night

Or one more Tulsa fight

Could drive this poor old Texas boy insane

You can keep that old Red River

Those smoky old casinos

They smell like feet and ass and nursing home

speed man’s Indian pow wow

Their women all say bow wow

Scratchin’ on their own face till they hit bone

Tornados and thunder

It sometimes make we wonder

Why I just can’t show one where you stay

At least we’d all be knowin’

The only thing you’re blowin’

Is picked up, spun around, and blown away

I’d rather go to prison

Than go to Oklahoma

Lock the door and throw away the key

I’d rather go to prison

Than go to Oklahoma

And let ol’ Bubba have his way with me