Hipster Christian

(Written a very long time ago as a “Sister Christian” spoof for musician Tommy Cross. Never recorded or even played live for all I know. Sorry for the ‘gay’ line. Like I said, written a very long time ago…)

Hipster Christian
Why you look so dumb?
I can’t believe I’m not the only one
To say, you’re gay
Where you going
What you looking for
Buying vinyl
At the record stores, no clue
It’s true

Man, you know
Your beard grew way too fast
Your wife is worrying
You’re far too gone
To save, just shave
Hipster Christian
Wearing Sandal Shoes
Don’t you worry
Because Jesus wore them too
It’s true


Sandal man
Your glasses just don’t fit
Patchouli smells like shit
Get off the 60’s tit
Sandal man
What’s your price for gas
To fill up your Pri-Ass (Prius)
And take your kids to mass

Published by GonzoWolf

C. Derick Miller is an award winning (Splatterpunk/Indie/Cult/Horror/Dark Fiction) author, Gonzo journalist, producer, screenwriter, poet, ordained minister, and songwriter born in the town of Greenville, Texas. A seasoned paranormal investigator and administrator for the fine art industry, his influences include Hunter S. Thompson, Kevin Smith, Shawn Mullins, and Del James. He is the Head Writer for Your Stories On Video and is Sr. Writer/Jr. Producer for AtuA Productions. Chad is also an active member of the International Thriller Writers organization, the Horror Writer’s Association, and co-host of the “American Justice” podcast. He resides in the Bishop Arts District of Dallas, Texas and has a price on his head for his short story “Hell Paso” contained in the #1 Amazon Best Selling/Award Winning Death’s Head Press Anthology “And Hell Followed”. He wishes he was making up that last part but…it’s nice to be wanted.

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