There comes a time in every relationship (well, at least 99.9% of the time) where the ending is in sight. With me, I’ve been unfortunate enough to experience three divorces during my adult life. The reasons are inconsequential to the story. Cheating. It was a bunch of cheating. My part, their part. Whatever. We’ve all done it. If you say you haven’t, then chances are you do it more, are probably doing it now, and just haven’t got caught. Cheating consists of a lot more than just sex. Intimate conversations and texts with someone other than the person you’re in a committed relationship with is also cheating. So, if you’re that .1% who’s been faithful your entire life, congratulations. Now you’re a liar as well!
My last marriage ended two and a half years ago. We were best friends since our teenage days and stayed together for eleven years. By today’s standards, that’s a long fucking time! I started traveling a lot, she strayed, I strayed, and there you have it. I have no problem confessing my wrongdoings because that’s the kind of person I am. I own up to shit. She, on the other hand, has not returned the confession. It’s no big deal. I wanted to clear my conscience. She’s the one who has to sleep with herself every night. Then again, I could just be some kind of paranoid asshole and she did nothing wrong. Also, there’s a herd of unicorns marching down Main Street. Either way, blah. Life.
I was working my final shift in a haunted house last night and it was going quite well despite how warm and humid North Texas has chosen to be during the month of October. It obviously missed the Autumn memo. This haunted house was 100% a charity gig in order to raise money for less fortunate students when it comes time for graduation and college. Needless to say, it’s for a good cause. That’s the kind of man I’ve become. I like to help people whenever I can. The lady who runs the haunted house came to me saying that my ex wife had just entered. Of course, I had to ask “which one”? She thought I was joking.
She stated that the woman had introduced herself as ‘my ex wife’ and I immediately knew which one was coming through. When she finally reached my room (with best friend and new boyfriend in tow) I refused to break character. I was playing the part of an evil zombie tattoo artist complete with my own dead tattoo client who comes to life midway through my performance. My victim had already asked me ahead of time what my ex wife feared. I replied with ‘nothing’. She’s the great niece of Lon Chaney Jr and was a professional paranormal investigator for over a decade. We owned snakes. All of this information combined told me there was no reason whatsoever for her to be entering a charity haunted house other than to torment me.
The best friend got right up into my face and said nothing. It appeared as though there were tears in her eyes. I used to love that girl to pieces and it was the first time we’d seen each other in almost three years. The boyfriend attempted to give me his best Neanderthal blank stare but I don’t speak caveman and I’m not very good at interpreting stick paintings which explain the art of the hunt. The ex wife pretended nothing was going on and stated (as loudly as possible) “This is officially the scariest room of the whole damn house”. Congratulations. You made your cameo. Be gone. In hindsight, you and your party just donated $39 dollars to a college scholarship for a kid who wouldn’t be attending college without the generosity of the Rotarians. All that just so she could inadvertently introduce me to her new boyfriend. Please, grow up.
I hold no ill will toward my ex whatsoever. We both did things that ended the marriage and ruined the friendship. I don’t miss my wife but I’m heartbroken about losing my best friend. Unfortunately, when you combine the two, there is no way to salvage the one. I have confessed, apologized, and hoped with all my might that doing so would allow her some type of closure. I see that it worked. She has moved on into another relationship. I have as well but it took me eight different trial and error minor relationships in the past two years to get to this one. I’m finally in love with someone again after thinking this type of feeling would be impossible between now and death. Some of us get it right the first time. Not me. Since I’d humbled myself enough, laying all my cards on the table and destroying all secrets, I’d hoped it would all become a part of my past. I was wrong. It was almost as though she could sense my recent shift in energy and had to come see it for herself.
It pains me to know that she can’t seem to move on. How much longer does she have to introduce herself to complete strangers as ‘my ex wife’? At exactly what point will she begin to meet people as herself again? Not once have I assumed the identity of ‘her ex husband’ because I’m too egotistical to be anyone other than myself. I love who I am and where I’m going. What does it take to remove yourself from the past and begin to live YOUR life? Positive light to you and yours. Just be YOU. Always.