My Nemesis

It’s time for me to get a rant out of my system. Deep breath and…SCREW YOU, A CHORD! How in the heck am I supposed to play you with three fat fingers so close together? Sure, I can cheat and just use the G and B strings but then I neglect the D string! The D string is like the sweet spot of the whole damned guitar! I can’t neglect that! Next thing you know, the D string is out telling her friends I’m no good and then I’ll have a whole neck full of strings laughing at me behind my back! Why three fingers? It’s painful to both me and you and we need to come up with some kind of compromise. Quit trying to be dirty movie star of the guitar world and learn to take the two fingers I want to give you! I’ve got these muscular tyrannosaur arms with stubby digits and hands that won’t bend in the places you want me to because there isn’t a joint there! What do you want from me, A chord? How can I please you? There. I feel much better. Beginner guitar blues. There should be a song about this. Hmmm……

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