No Words.

To anyone who’s followed me for an extended period of time, you know the story. I’ll paraphrase. When I was in the Army, I owned a very troubled wolf. I was instructed by a trainer to grapple with him until he submitted to me in order to get through as the leader. He bled me, but I came out on top to establish myself as the Alpha. Since then, I’ve experienced the world differently. Almost animal-like. Some people refer to me as the wolf man. That’s as much of the story as you need to know in order to get the just of what I’m saying. I went on an impromptu date last night with a girl I’ve known for a few years. We couldn’t be more ‘different’. I’m 44 years old, 5’6″ and 225lbs. She is 31 years old, 4’11” and 97lbs. I find her adorable. Her size makes me very protective when she’s around although I’d never show it. The girl is fiery enough to take care of herself. I’m almost certain she’d find it offensive. During the date, I was approached by a corporate sales person of a major US retailer. He recognized me and began to bash my current publisher (my family) and how I choose to expose myself to the literary world. Granted, he was young and intoxicated, but I was on a date. He continued to press his corporate agenda on me trying to talk business. I could feel my face getting hot and even instructed him that the lady and I were attempting to enjoy an evening together. Sure, signing with an empire sounds awesome, but hit me up Monday through Friday during normal C. Derick Miller business hours. The man took the hint and retired to the bar. (I’m almost 90 days sober. I drink iced tea so alcohol didn’t come into play regarding my reaction). Noticing the frustration building in my face, my companion came over to my end of the booth, snuggled up next to my chest, and placed her head directly underneath my neck just like in the photo above of the alpha female wolf. It took a few seconds but an overwhelming feeling of calm washed over me. We continued to sit that way for nearly an hour, ignoring several strange looks from some of the bar patrons. Now, I have no idea where any of this is going, but it was the first time a girl has offered this type of comfort rather than a barrage of simple words. I’m a writer. Words mean everything to me. Not in that moment. Could this young lady by my Alpha Female? I don’t know. The two of us refuse to speak about it. We’ve both been dragged through Hell and back when it comes to relationships. To give it a Doc Holliday spin, we were two friends sharing an enchanted moment. Like most instances in my life as of late, this entire scenario fell into my lap suddenly and without warning. Maybe I’m cautiously beginning to approach the master from the corner I’ve been back into. I’m just waiting for that proverbial extended hand to say it’s alright to do so. My wolf, Baron, approached me in the same way. Humans are animals. Life is so much simpler when you act accordingly.

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